Entering the Holy of Holies

When it comes to worship, I have to admit that I didn't really understand it for most of my life. I grew up in a denomination that focused on hymns and liturgy, then I became a part of a denomination that was a little less structured. I thought that the service overall was the focal point. The sermon was the "main event" and I was to make sure to not get distracted by the getting up, sitting down, getting up, sitting down.

Then I walked through the doors of Calvary Chapel Albuquerque in 1988. Praise and Worship with guitars, drums, etc. People with their hands raised up filled the auditorium, a few people danced around near the front. It was a shock to my system, yet it made me hungry for the experience I was seeing in front of me. The problem? I never got it. Never had the "liver quiver". Never felt entirely comfortable dancing. Hand raising? That was gutsy for me, and after a while it became easier to do. However, none of that really gave me that feeling that I had made it into the throne room of God as part of worship.

I think Gayle Erwin captures this thought process succinctly:

So, what else troubles us? Perhaps that mythical "place" in our spirit where we feel constantly close to God, surrounded and protected from all worry and difficulty. Many seek that "place." Some sing progressively more serious or intimate songs of worship until they feel they will be granted entry to the "Holy of Holies." How sad that, by such, they resew the veil after Jesus ripped it open. We are in the Holy of Holies at this very moment! How else could we "come boldly" to the throne of Grace? - Gayle Erwin "The Servant Quarters"

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was trying so hard, like building up speed to break open a door, only to find out it was open the whole time. There's no special trick, no particular song or music style that will "get you into the Holy of Holies". We merely need to enter into prayer, and we are there. And worship? It's not about ME anyway! It's about God!

Does that nullify the feelings of love and joy that people feel when singing songs of praise and adoration to the God they love? Absolutely not. But don't make the mistake thinking that it is necessary to enter the throne room of our Heavenly Father. There's no need to build up speed for take off. It's like the Transporter in Star Trek. Instant access. If that doesn't blow your mind, I don't know what will! Worship is not the access to our Father in heaven. Prayer is the access.

That leaves the worship part to honor God with our voices, our songs, our hands, our feet, our lives. I'm just sorry it took me 35 years to figure it out. I'm a slow learner, good thing Jesus is patient with us slower folks.